Pulling on the reins is a human instinct in the same way as assuming the fetal position when we feel threatened is and it is hard to recondition the reaction. Riders who go into a fetal position when they are scared usually end up in trouble because they are off balance and easily bucked off! So why do they do it? They “can’t help it” a sudden explosive sound will have you instinctively drop into a fetal position.
Similarly, when you are afraid on your horse you will grab a hold of something that seems to provide you with some stability. The white-knuckled grip you get on the steering wheel as you drive an icy road is the same reaction as the death grip and pull on the reins of a horse when it doesn’t react as you wish. Now, that isn’t a criticism, have all done it, it is just an observation of human instincts that a good horseman works to overcome.
Pulling:
Pulling is steady and constant pressure, that may increase or decrease but is always present. You can pull on a static object and you can pull on an object that applying force against your pull. Horses do not intrinsically know how to pull, they learn pull as a fear response to be pulled – horses are bigger and stronger than people so they will always “win” the pulling contest.
Pulling on the reins is painful for the horse and in order to get relief it teaches the horse to pull back, to lift its head to get the painful bit off the soft tissue in the bars of the mouth. Sure signs of a rider pulling too much include head tossing and bracing against the bit. When you stop pulling and pitch the horse slack in the reins the horse will also stop pulling and start to relax and lower its head. After all if there is nothing to pull against – how could he possibly pull?
Helping a friend out with a horse that would pull her forward in the saddle – either thrusting its nose up or down and forward to find relief from the pain on the bars of its mouth from her constantly pulling – I suggested that she put some slack into the reins. At first the horse reacted with disbelief, the pressure was no longer there but it instinctively tested the slack by pushing its nose forward and up. After a few minutes the horse stopped testing, relaxed its head, neck and body and had an enjoyable ride. On the next ride the rider returned to the conditioned state of pulling on the reins, as she had been doing for the last twenty years or so.
Holding:
Holding, by contrast, is a locked in position. There are times you might take hold of your reins and set your rein hand in place – as Nuno would say “like concrete“, which is a good metaphor because concrete is firm but still. The horse can, and usually will, find a release without your help, you need do nothing more – but pulling is not something the horse can get away from without pulling back, stronger. I did ballroom dancing some years ago and learned that if I maintained a somewhat rigid ‘frame” it was easier for my partner to flow my intentions. in a way, a horse learns to stay tied because the tie doesn’t pull, and the horse can easily find relief.
Ray Hunt said “it’s easy to change the horse, but it’s hard to change the human” – he was quite correct. Humans are creatures of habit, our habits are mostly mundane and we don’t even realize we have them. When we think of the word “habit” we usually do so with a negative connotation – yet each morning we have the same bathroom ritual – if we brush out teeth before we shower, we do it the same every single day, rarely deviating from the routine. Once a habit is engrained in us we tend to stick quite rigidly to it the best way to change any habit is to replace it with another, more productive, habit. Pulling on the reins is a habit as much as it is an instinct, and unfortunately it is a habit that is also taught.
It is amazing how much our communication with horses will change after we stop pulling and using pain to satiate our emotional reactions.